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This is my car. It doesn't have a name, because people who have names for their cars are usually huge tools. However, my car IS very cool. In September of 2003, I decided I needed a new hobby. I was bored with things and my brain was getting stale. I figured that fucking around with the car would be pretty interesting.
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I started slowly, first with little things like the intake resonator and intake, then moved onto bigger things like boring the throttle body and cutting the shifter. During each project, I tried to take some good pictures of the process and describe it in extreme detail. My objective with this page is to create a resource where people who don't know what in the HELL they're doing can find easy directions to accomplish the goals they set with their Saturns. I want to make a pool of information that I wish I could've had when I was trying to do these things. Hopefully, it'll help someone out. Just relax and follow the directions VERY carefully. Everything should work out fine...unless you suck worse than me. Then you're fucked. Oh well.
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There are a couple things you should keep in mind when reading this page. First of all, a lot of these project were done for MUCH less than it would usually cost someone. The low cost is both a product of necessity, as I am, contrary to popular demand, NOT a millionare, and because I feel that doing something at a low cost is fun because then you can make fun of the fucks who paid twice as much as you for the same shit. Haha. Bitches. The second thing you should note is that I've only been working on cars since about September 2003, as mentioned previously. I went from not hardly being able to use a socket wrench to whatever it is I know now, which is marginally more. However, I am still a consumate idiot, so if you take my advice on ANYTHING (life, love, hapiness, cars, cleanliness...ESPECIALLY cleanliness), you must be at least mildly retarded and you need to be examined professionally.
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Anyway, have fun with your car, try to learn something, and as some good people used to say, "If you're gonna be an asshole, be a funny asshole." If you glean no other information (apart from the car stuff) from this place, realize that it's ok to be an asshole, if that's how you naturally are. But also understand that there's a big difference between an asshole and a mean person. Don't be mean. Oh yeah, speaking of...whatever...understand something else, too. The non-car related stuff on this page, the personal writings and whatnot, is written solely for my own enjoyment and release. If you like them, good for you. If you don't, I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in hearing about it. If you think I cuss too much, or that my apartment is gross, or that my car is slow, or that I am not as cool as you for any other reason, keep it to yourself. Considering the general population of this planet, there's a 99.999999% chance that you are a complete fuck and that I would REALLY dislike you if I met you in person. Don't take it personally. You probably just suck.
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Oh yeah, if you have any questions or if you're a hot girl, email me at TheRob@TheRob.com or get me on AIM. My screen name is BBoyNastee. I'm awesome.
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